Book Review: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey

Book Information:

Title: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What men really think about love, relationships, intimacy and commitment

Publisher: Amistad (An Imprint of HarperCollins Publishers)

Publication Date: January 2009

ISBN-13: 978-0-06-172879-6

MSRP: $23.99

Format: Hardcover

Available from Amazon, Barnes & Nobel, Borders or Powell's

Steve Harvey, world famous comedian and actor, has decided to write his own book about relationships. Fans of the Steve Harvey Morning Show radio program are familiar with Steve's Strawberry Letter segment in which he regularly imparts romantic wisdom and advice to his listeners. A long-time fan of the Steve Harvey Morning Show, I am sad to say this book was somewhat of a disappointment.

Okay, so maybe disappointment is too strong of a word; but, I can't put my finger on exactly why I didn't like this book. Don't get me wrong, Steve has some pretty good insight on how the male mind works. In a nutshell, men are very simple creatures and all the "complications" surrounding relationships are figments on the female imagination. And I think that right there is what doesn't sit well with me about the book. The crux of Harvey's argument is that men are dogs because women let them be. Men don't commit because women don't make it a requirement. Men cheat because their women don't provide them what they need at home. (That and they don't think they will get caught.)

Yup, everything wrong with the world is our fault ladies. (He even brings up the story of Adam and Eve! Geez! Let it go already. And for those of us who aren't Christian, that argument doesn't really work.)

The sad thing is, Harvey does have a couple of gems in his book about men, but the tone of the book put me in such a defensive mood that it was very hard to appreciate them. And instead of the book being proactive and empowering about ways to change your behavior, we end up with a laundry list of things not to do:

"Don't tell him where you would like to go [on a date]..."

"Don't be too independent"

"Just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should."

I had really high expectations for this book; but, sadly this one is a pass ladies. A little more sugar would have made it a bit easier to appreciate and swallow.

xoxo,

Tissie

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Book Review: Become Your Own Matchmaker 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate by Patti Stanger

Did I mention I love trashy reality TV shows? I have been a longtime fan of the Millionaire Matchmaker which usually airs Thursday nights on Bravo, simply because it is comforting to know that even millionaires have a hard time getting a date on Saturday night. I checked this book out of the library after seeing an episode on the show where Patti, the infamous matchmaker, was doing a photo shoot for the book cover. I thought the book would be cheeky, full of cliches and pretty much useless; but, I couldn't have been further from the truth. My first clue that maybe I was wrong about Patti? A waiting list of over 200 people waiting to read the book from my local library!

For those of you not familiar with Patti's TV show, she is a 3rd generation matchmaker with a 99% success rate who doesn't sugar coat ANYTHING. She has no qualms about telling multi-millionaires they are egotistical jerks who will end up in a nursing home alone if they don't follow her rules and advice.

Patti divides the book into 8 essential steps/chapters:
(1) Dating Detox
(2) Mirror, Mirror
(3) Make Your Own Matchmaking Map
(4) Qualifying the Buyer
(5) Adventures in Dating
(6) First Days of Infatuation
(7) Relationship Reality Check
(8) Negotiating the Ring

In these 8 steps she lays out a pretty thorough plan to find the perfect mate and get engaged within a year. In fact, one of Patti's rules is that if you haven't gotten the ring by 12 months anyway, your guy isn't interested in marriage.

What surprised me the most about this book compared to other relationship books was the scientific evidence Patti used to back up her advice and claims. Patti's number 1 rule is NO SEX until you are in a "committed, monogamous relationship." But her rationale isn't the usual crap you get like if you have sex too soon a guy will think you are easy. But, if you hold out too long, a guy will think you are too much work. Patti explains that for women, sex causes the release of hormones that chemically reinforces a woman's bond with a man. So once you have sex, even if the guy is a total loser, you will essentially be addicted to him.

Even for the things in the book I didn't agree with or think were practical, I could definitely understand Patti's reasoning. I can see how getting professional pictures taken for your online dating profile would definitely showcase you in a better light than your computer's web cam. But I also feel that spending $400 for a professional photo shoot is beyond most women's budgets.

Of course the true gems of the book were Patti's suggestions on good and bad places to meet men and warning signs for potential problems later. The produce aisle is no longer the "it" place at the grocery store, stake out the prepared food section of your local Whole Foods or Trader Joes instead. And a guy sitting at Starbucks working on his computer? Chances are he doesn't have an office of his own and is therefore unemployed. Oh, and any guy who won't give you his home phone number is married, no questions asked.

Now I will warn you, while Patti dishes the dirt on men, we women don't get off home free in the process either. The whole "Mirror, Mirror" chapter can be pretty harsh. On air, Patti has told girls they looked like porn stars and hookers. And as she has said many times, if you need her services, what you have been doing obviously isn't working! So be prepared for potentially major changes. But luckily, Patti has some practical tips along with her harsh advice. Can't loose those last few inches off the waist? Invest in some shapewear. And if your hair is a mess, extensions can fix almost anything.

I am somewhat embarrassed to say that after I returned the book to the library, I went to Borders and bought a copy of my own! (With a 40% off coupon of course.) Patti's matchmaking services start at $25,000 and she only accepts cash. So at $25 ($15 after my discount) this book is a steal and highly entertaining at that.

Book Information
Publisher: Atria
Publication Date: January 13, 2009
ISBN-13: 978-1416559948
MSRP: $25.00
Format: Hardcover
Available from Amazon, Borders, and Barnes and Noble








xoxo,

Tissie

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