Friday, May 8, 2009

Book Review: Become Your Own Matchmaker 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate by Patti Stanger

Did I mention I love trashy reality TV shows? I have been a longtime fan of the Millionaire Matchmaker which usually airs Thursday nights on Bravo, simply because it is comforting to know that even millionaires have a hard time getting a date on Saturday night. I checked this book out of the library after seeing an episode on the show where Patti, the infamous matchmaker, was doing a photo shoot for the book cover. I thought the book would be cheeky, full of cliches and pretty much useless; but, I couldn't have been further from the truth. My first clue that maybe I was wrong about Patti? A waiting list of over 200 people waiting to read the book from my local library!

For those of you not familiar with Patti's TV show, she is a 3rd generation matchmaker with a 99% success rate who doesn't sugar coat ANYTHING. She has no qualms about telling multi-millionaires they are egotistical jerks who will end up in a nursing home alone if they don't follow her rules and advice.

Patti divides the book into 8 essential steps/chapters:
(1) Dating Detox
(2) Mirror, Mirror
(3) Make Your Own Matchmaking Map
(4) Qualifying the Buyer
(5) Adventures in Dating
(6) First Days of Infatuation
(7) Relationship Reality Check
(8) Negotiating the Ring

In these 8 steps she lays out a pretty thorough plan to find the perfect mate and get engaged within a year. In fact, one of Patti's rules is that if you haven't gotten the ring by 12 months anyway, your guy isn't interested in marriage.

What surprised me the most about this book compared to other relationship books was the scientific evidence Patti used to back up her advice and claims. Patti's number 1 rule is NO SEX until you are in a "committed, monogamous relationship." But her rationale isn't the usual crap you get like if you have sex too soon a guy will think you are easy. But, if you hold out too long, a guy will think you are too much work. Patti explains that for women, sex causes the release of hormones that chemically reinforces a woman's bond with a man. So once you have sex, even if the guy is a total loser, you will essentially be addicted to him.

Even for the things in the book I didn't agree with or think were practical, I could definitely understand Patti's reasoning. I can see how getting professional pictures taken for your online dating profile would definitely showcase you in a better light than your computer's web cam. But I also feel that spending $400 for a professional photo shoot is beyond most women's budgets.

Of course the true gems of the book were Patti's suggestions on good and bad places to meet men and warning signs for potential problems later. The produce aisle is no longer the "it" place at the grocery store, stake out the prepared food section of your local Whole Foods or Trader Joes instead. And a guy sitting at Starbucks working on his computer? Chances are he doesn't have an office of his own and is therefore unemployed. Oh, and any guy who won't give you his home phone number is married, no questions asked.

Now I will warn you, while Patti dishes the dirt on men, we women don't get off home free in the process either. The whole "Mirror, Mirror" chapter can be pretty harsh. On air, Patti has told girls they looked like porn stars and hookers. And as she has said many times, if you need her services, what you have been doing obviously isn't working! So be prepared for potentially major changes. But luckily, Patti has some practical tips along with her harsh advice. Can't loose those last few inches off the waist? Invest in some shapewear. And if your hair is a mess, extensions can fix almost anything.

I am somewhat embarrassed to say that after I returned the book to the library, I went to Borders and bought a copy of my own! (With a 40% off coupon of course.) Patti's matchmaking services start at $25,000 and she only accepts cash. So at $25 ($15 after my discount) this book is a steal and highly entertaining at that.

Book Information
Publisher: Atria
Publication Date: January 13, 2009
ISBN-13: 978-1416559948
MSRP: $25.00
Format: Hardcover
Available from Amazon, Borders, and Barnes and Noble




Allie said...

Oooh! I love that show! I've even gotten my husband watching it. I love Patti's no-nonsense approach to dealing with these clueless losers. "Yo, I'm Jimmy D." Can you say, "LOSER!!!!" And what's up with the dude peeing on his own lawn??? Money certainly doesn't buy class. ;) I'll have to run out and get a copy of this book (for purely entertainment value!)

Tissie said...

The guy peeing in his own yard was an awesome episode. My favorite was STD Dave!! Who has a stripper pole in his living room?!?!

Allie said...

Yay! She set up a gay millionaire! LOL

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